Have you ever wanted the lord to call you home?
Have you ever wanted to be carried into the stars because the world has been hitting you with pariahs that even a dose of Mariah can’t save you from?
Have you ever cried with no tears?
Have you ever wanted to scream and cry but all you can do is sing If Only You Knew or Where Were You When I Needed You
quietly
as the gospel flows through your ears?
I have. and He almost did.
Have you ever not known what to do with that heavy heart?
Have you ever wanted to go find Mr. Hathaway and ask him if he found the love?
What do you do when you say “I Can Explain” but only garbled gasps of pain come out?
When I can’t cry I ask Stevie to sing to me.
I let his voice sew the pieces of the child of my inner vision back together.
When I can’t wail,
when it’s been too hard living, but I’m not afraid to die,
when I’m Jonesin for someone to run to,
I ask Patti, Aretha and Whitney to help me find a way to carry on.
When I want to be carried into the sky and feel the wind beneath my wings,
when i’m burning up inside and want to lay down and let the earth absorb me,
I reach for the colors at the edge of a dream,
I let my head get lost in the clouds where there’s no more rain,
because I know that Might Just Be the healing I need.
This is my gospel.
Have you ever wanted the lord to call you home?
I have.
And I’m telling you, I’m not going.
By Loren Bass-Sanford
