Content Warning: Suicide
The Bear
By Kayla Wagonfeld
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
BENNETT (18): Conventionally quite handsome with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Goes to a small high private school. A genuine guy. He is generally very even-keeled emotionally. Likes environmental science and theater. Has known JAKE since he was small and is surprised they’ve been able to stay so close as their lives and personalities grow apart. There is no one else in his life like JAKE.
JAKE (18): The older-looking of the two, though actually a bit younger. Has a small eucalyptus tree tattoo on his shoulder that represents growth, a representation he decided on after he got it. Cares more than BENNETT about his appearance; has darker, longer hair. Goes to a larger public high school where he is quite academically successful. Likes math and English. Has two or three close friends, rather than a group. Is a Mama’s boy, though he wouldn’t let anyone know that, much less admit it to himself. Has been struggling with both Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety for over a year. Really, really appreciates BENNETT. Maybe loves BENNETT, though unsure in what way. _________________________________________________________________________
LIGHTS UP.
Two logs sit diagonally on center stage such that they form an arrow pointing to the back wall. It’s a summer morning; lights are quite bright, warm, and clear.
BENNETT sits on one of the logs in a sea-green athletic shirt, dirty cuffed jeans, and a black beanie. His feet are stuffed in hiking boots yet both shoelaces are untied. He’s humming, fiddling with a lighter and a small camp stove on top of which rests a small pot.
JAKE enters the scene, barefoot with blue jeans, and a soft red North Face t-shirt. He swings his leg over the log and takes a seat. He is cheery.
BENNETT
Welcome back. How was it?
JAKE
Oh, you know, it’s a good old leak in the woods. Nothing to report. How’s the
breakfast-ing going?
JAKE joins BENNETT on the logs.
BENNETT
Not bad. Done. But every time we have oatmeal I get such intense maple waffle cravings.
JAKE
Oh, like those ones from Stacks? Dude. Those are insane.
BENNETT
I know! Melty salted butter... whipped cream...
JAKE
Orgasmic.
BENNETT
So orgasmic. You know what’s not orgasmic?
JAKE
Having the same shitty raspberry oatmeal for like two weeks?
Bingo.
BENNETT
The palpable comfort of friendship sets in. BENNETT fixes them each a bowl of oatmeal and they settle back onto their respective logs.
JAKE
(looking in the bowl)
Why’d they cut the raspberry oats so small anyway? That’s the worst thing about it.
BENNETT
Cut the oats?
JAKE
You know, like steel-cut oats.
BENNETT
Oh. Easier to make into oatmeal maybe? Less oat surface. More sog potential.
JAKE
(looks off into the distance, smiling)
Sog potential.
(beat)
It’s gonna be another beautiful day I think. I can tell already. We totally lucked out. It
could have poured the entire time.
BENNETT
There’s the sunshine.
BENNETT smiles to himself, or to both of them.
JAKE
What?
BENNETT
Remember that song?
JAKE
What song?
BENNETT
(singing, in a surprisingly good voice)
Sunshine... my only sunshine...you make me happy.... when skies are grey...you’ll...
JAKE (catching on)
...you’ll never know dear... how much I love you...
BOTH:
...so please don’t take my sunshine away.
They lock eyes and smile until JAKE looks away. He can be scared of sentimentality in that way.
BENNETT
Remember that video? I couldn’t even pronounce my Rs or Ls. Pwease don’t take my sunshine
away... Was that preschool? I guess it could have been—
JAKE
(beat)
(he stands)
Alright. Ready to hit the trail?
BENNETT
Dude.
(leaning back)
I’m still eating. And we haven’t packed up the tent or anything.
JAKE
I mean like do all those things and then hit the trail.
BENNETT
(relaxing)
Naw. Let’s stay and talk for just a little longer.
JAKE
(sighs)
Bennett... talk about what? Do you know how many hours I’ve spent talking to you? Our
favorite movies. Waffles. The oats in oatmeal. Why all giraffes look kinda slutty. The point of philosophy. Billionaires. Poverty in India. Our families. Shitting. We’ve already talked about everything in the world there is to talk about.
BENNETT
Oh, the giraffes! I forgot about that. I know. But we can talk about everything again.
JAKE
(sits back down)
That’s dumb.
BENNETT
Married people talk about everything again and again and again.
JAKE
Maybe. But they love each other.
BENNETT
What does that mean?
JAKE
Nevermind.
BENNETT
Jake.
JAKE
What?
BENNETT
I don’t care if we talk about the same things again. You’re going away soon. I didn’t say
anything when you talked about that girl for two hours a day for all of May.
JAKE
That’s different. That’s because I was trying to decide on something. I had to deliberate, think
out loud.
BENNETT
Well what if I’m trying to decide on something?
JAKE
And what are you trying to decide on, Bennett?
Long pause. No response from BENNETT.
JAKE
Yep. C’mon. There’s—
BENNETT
If you’ll be okay.
JAKE
What?
BENNETT
I’m trying to decide if you’ll be okay.
JAKE
Bennett... let’s just please get on the trail?
(he starts to motivate)
Before the weather gets bad?
BENNETT
It’s supposed to be a beautiful day I thought.
JAKE
No.
BENNETT
Huh?
JAKE
(exasperated)
Fuck you, dude. And fuck that song. I wasn’t even thinking about any of that, or at least not
until you decided to bring it up. This trip is supposed to be about us! Our last days together and
being outside. Not my fucked up shit.
BENNETT
(quietly)
Hm. What are you planning to do with all your feelings then?
JAKE
What did you say?
BENNETT
(getting off the log and moving to the oatmeal pot)
I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ll drop it.
(turnout off the stove)
Ok. Here, I can deal with the oatmeal, if you want to just—
JAKE
No. What did you say?
BENNETT
What? [Not looking.] Look, it’s nothing. If we want—
JAKE
If it’s nothing then what is it?
BENNETT
Listen, I’m sorry. All I asked is what you were planning on doing with all your feelings. Because clearly, you have them. Lots of them. And they aren’t just going to just disappear. And what you said is true, about our trip and everything but when you’re in pain it’s hard not to ignore it because you’re —Jake? Hey.
JAKE has started to falter a bit. The stage lighting doesn’t change, but the aura of the scene darkens as JAKE loses some of his sunniness.
JAKE
Dude it’s fine. Let’s pack up.
BENNETT
You want to? I’m sorry.
JAKE
Yeah.
BENNETT
Okay.
I can take the pot. Do you have room for the oats Ziploc?
JAKE
Uh. Yeah.
BENNETT
Here.
Frazzled, BENNETT spills some oats.
JAKE
Thanks.
BENNETT
Oh shit.
JAKE
What?
BENNETT
Wait, are there bears out here?
JAKE
Here? I don’t think so.
BENNETT
Fuck.
JAKE
What?
BENNETT
I’ve never seen a bear.
JAKE
Bennett… you don’t want to see a bear.
BENNETT
[scoffing a bit]: Have you seen one?
JAKE
Yes. I’ve seen three.
BENNETT
What? When?
JAKE
Colorado. Eighth grade or something. It wasn’t pretty.
BENNETT
Really? What happened?
JAKE
Long story.
BENNETT
How have I not heard this?
JAKE
I’m sure I told you at some point.
BENNETT
I feel like I would have remembered.
JAKE shrugs. It’s clear that BENNETT is intrigued. It is clear that some part of JAKE wants to recount the story.
BENNETT
Well just start it and I’ll tell you if it sounds familiar.
JAKE
Fine. It was when my family and I were backpacking in the San Juan National Forest. We’d been hiking all day and then at dinnertime pitched camp in this weedy meadow area. It was gorgeous actually, all these orange and purple wildflowers everywhere. So we had dinner and stuff and strung the bear bags properly and went to bed early because the next day we planned to summit the really tall peak. I forget what it was called. Like Sheep Horn something. The next morning, we leave everything at camp where it was, and do the summit as a day hike due to the altitude. And the hike is awesome. Really gorgeous. Towards the end we're above the treeline so there’s just this moment—well, not like a moment, but like, a period where we’re hiking and suddenly all the bushes and trees under our feet become exposed reddish rocks. And this big blue sky.
BENNETT
And you saw the bear there?
JAKE
No. So then, we have lunch and at maybe like 3 pm or something, we head back to camp. And we put our stuff down and everything, and in the middle of the campsite, I see this huge half-dried shit.
BENNETT
Uh oh.
JAKE
Yes. So I call my Dad over to check it out and he’s just like, wow, yeah, that’s bear shit. So Cody and Mom stay in the tent while Dad and I go around the perimeter seeing if we see any more signs of the bear, but we don’t see any more signs, so we decide that the bear probably just scoped out the site while we were hiking and then left. So Mom comes out of the tent and they’re cooking and stuff and then Dad sees this thing far off in the trees, and it’s the fucking bear, coming towards camp. And it’s fucking huge. [Jake motions.] So we go by the tents, and he takes the pots and pans and goes near the bear and starts banging and shouting really loud, and my Mom is crying about how he’s getting too close to the bear so Cody starts crying. And then I see two cubs coming closer to the campsite from the other side. And I start shitting myself because I know you never get between a mama bear and her cubs. That’s like the number one thing with bears. So my heart’s pounding and I’m shaking and I have to go bang the other pots and pans to ward off the cubs and Mom and Cody are packing the site and then we start walking and keep banging and shouting and hiking and we do that for miles and miles. And we think it would be okay to stop and sleep for the night because we were so far from where the bears were, but my Dad doesn’t want to. So we hike all the way to the trailhead and go to a hotel. It was like fifteen miles, but it felt like two. Crazy shit.
BENNETT
Wow. I’d be fucking terrified.
JAKE
Yeah. It was insane.
BENNETT
I definitely haven’t heard that one before.
JAKE
Really.
BENNETT
I still kinda wanna see a bear though.
JAKE
Ha. Glad I got through to you.
JAKE and BENNETT continue packing.
JAKE
You know, we don’t need to talk about my stuff. Things are actually fine. I’ve already come to terms with the fact that I won’t be able to make friends there.
BENNETT
Huh?
JAKE
I know I won’t.
BENNETT
(stops what he’s doing)
Wait where?
JAKE
The place.
BENNETT
That’s not true. Everyone else is going to be looking to meet people at the exact same time.
JAKE
I know people, but I’ve never actively made a friend. Not once.
BENNETT
That’s not true. I’m your friend.
JAKE
We’ve been friends since we were two!
BENNETT
There’s plenty of—
JAKE
(beginning to spiral)
What if they’re mean to me?
BENNETT
Who? The other kids or the doctors?
JAKE
What if it just makes me even worse? The whole program. That’s the worst part. What if it just
makes me worse?
BENNETT
Jake. Stop. It won’t.
JAKE
I feel like I’ll get out and feel it coming and just try again the next day. I’ll just see a bridge and think, well, that was six whole months! And it didn’t fix me either, so I might as well just call it!
JAKE’s voice cracks a bit and he throws his hands up in exasperation. BENNETT goes to try to comfort him. For a couple of beats, everything is suspended.
BENNETT
Because I’m going to be with you that day. The day you come back. And the day after, and the day after. Just think—there will be a whole new everything to talk about.
JAKE
It’ll have been so long.
BENNETT
Exactly! Are you kidding? Dude, six whole months? I’ll have missed you. A fuck ton. All the giraffes might not be as slutty then too!
JAKE smiles a bit; BENNETT feels accomplished. They sit for a while. BENNETT is concerned, a bit speechless. He’s used to this, but not used to being the person to invoke it.
JAKE
I guess I’m just scared in general. I know.
BENNETT
I know.
JAKE
There are just these moments where I feel trapped. Like nothing will ever get better.
BENNETT
I know.
JAKE
I do want to get better though. For you.
BENNETT
(choosing to ignore the ‘for you’ part)
I know.
Silence for a couple of beats.
JAKE
I’m sorry.
BENNETT
For what?
JAKE
I don’t know.
Silence for a couple of beats. JAKE begins to examine his shirt.
BENNETT
What is it?
JAKE
This shirt’s gnarly.
BENNETT
Wait. Jake, is that blood?
JAKE
Bennett, what? It’s spaghetti sauce. From two nights ago. And then peanut butter from yesterday, and then cooking oil from the day before that. It’s like a little tour of our shitty camping foods.
BENNETT (uneasy)
Oh, right.
JAKE
I gotta say, the sauce was a bad call. It was heavy so on the trail I was thinking about making it and was expecting the payoff to be really good and then it wasn’t even that good. Pretty watery, actually.
BENNETT
Interesting. I wonder who put it on the list.
JAKE
I didn’t put it on the list.
BENNETT
You literally made the entire list. And shopped.
JAKE
But I didn’t put it on.
BENNETT
Wow. How mysterious.
JAKE
(oddly intrigued by the situation)
Huh. I guess I was probably just walking around the store and tossed it in.
BENNETT
I see.
(beat)
JAKE
Listen... at the end of the day you shouldn’t have to wake up and go “Hm, I wonder if my best friend is going to try and kill himself today.” It’s not fair.
BENNETT
Jake—
JAKE
I’m— I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get like this. This whole thing. We were supposed to just have our oatmeal and get going.
BENNETT
No. No, it’s my fault. I—
JAKE
It’s okay.
(silence)
(they both stare at the pot)
BENNETT
You good?
JAKE
Yeah.
(silence)
BENNETT
What are you thinking about?
JAKE
I don’t know. Nothing.
BENNETT decides to leave it be. Silence.
BENNETT
Well. Do you wanna hit the trail now? It’s still a lovely day.
JAKE
Maybe.
BENNETT
Okay.
BENNETT is unsure how to proceed.
JAKE
You know what?
BENNETT
Hm.
JAKE
You know, I think the oatmeal wouldn’t be so shitty if it wasn’t for those waffles, and the waffles wouldn’t be so fucking good if it wasn’t for the oatmeal.
BENNETT
Yeah. I mean, no shit.
JAKE
Yeah.
Pause. A more mutual understanding sets in.
BENNETT
You know, we can sit here all day too, if you want, and hike tomorrow. Just soak up the sunshine. We don’t have to do anything.
An agreement. Sunny. With their heads towards each other at center stage, the two boys spread their backs over the logs and look upwards.
BLACKOUT.
End of scene.
By Kayla Wagonfeld.
